6 Things I’ve Learned Since Having My Second Child

Ezra is 8 months old this week! YAYY! He is doing so good. I seriously wonder all of the time, how did we get so lucky. I don’t know why I thought he was just going to cry all night, and throw me for a loop. In fact, he’s far from that. Don’t believe the stories, that if your first child is good, your second child will turn your world upside down. NOT TRUE. Ezra joining in on the fun has taught me a few things, and my biggest take away is: life just got tougher, but it’s so much more sweet!

5 THINGS I’VE LEARNED

Savor the moments, and live in the present. With Eden I remember just wanting the newborn phase to pass on by because it was HARD WORK, and it was such a critical phase. Then I chased each milestone like, ‘oh she’s rolling over now,’ ‘oh I can’t wait for teeth,’ ‘oh once she starts walking it’ll be so fun,’ and now look, she’s practically grown lol. That time just sped on by. NOW with Ezra I’m like, time please S L O W down. I appreciate this season so much. I love each moment with him because, my baby boy will only be a baby for such a short time, and I finally understand that.

It gets hard out here, try to have a plan in place. Firstly, you are always tired. That’s a fact. And being outnumbered by your kids is not a joke. With two, it’s just anticipating their needs, and trying to stay ahead of them. One wants to nap, the other wants to play. What helps is to plan ahead, and plan for what could potentially go wrong. If you weren’t a planner or multi-tasker before, having more than one child will make you one. For some reason, as much as you plan though, you will always be late, it’s inevitable.

The most beautiful thing is sibling love. You don’t realize that you’re capable of loving another child as much as your first one, until they get here. I have 2 sisters and a brother, so I know first hand that having siblings make life more enjoyable. BUT seeing your own children bond and play with each other is a new type of joy. Hearing Eden say ‘I want to give Ezzy a kiss goodnight’, or ‘I want to play with Ezzy’ just makes my heart melt. Not to mention, it’s just amazing when they can play with each other while you prepare dinner.

No such thing as balance. When you have one, you can slightly get away with still trying to ‘do the most.’ But with TWO? Nah. Balance is being wherever you NEED to be at that moment, and doing the BEST that you can. I am okay with that. I have no problem saying NO, and I don’t try to do it all either. You will literally have 2 kids bawling their eyes out AT. THE. SAME. TIME. It just becomes who needs me MOST. Matters of the house become: do we want dinner, or do we want a clean living room? I have never seen so much laundry piled up until I had two kids. There really is just no way around it. Everything is not going to be on point all of the time, if ever. So, I learned to not put that type of pressure on myself.

Your tribe is everything, it truly takes a village. But who’s down to watch not one, but TWO kids?! Your family. lol. I really had to LEARN how to ask for help. The thing is, people don’t mind helping, but if you appear to have it all under control without saying anything, where is the room for them to step in? My sister lives in my neighborhood, amen. Anytime we are going out, of course she gets ready first. She is only one body, and I am essentially, three. I had to express to her that when you are done getting ready, come down to our house, because ya girl needs HELP. The struggle is real and can be lonely, so talk to your family, and talk to your mommy friends. Closed mouths don’t get fed.

It takes a lot of effort to keep your identity. In all honestly, the transition into motherhood came quite easy to me. Being Sheila on the other hand, takes a little more effort, because where is the time? Aside from working a full time job, taking care of my babies are my life. After Eden, it took me about 1 year to feel like ME. Things like writing blog posts, reading a good book, and working out, all have to do with me being intentional with my ‘free time’. I still can’t figure out how to get time in to read these days. But, some things that have helped me feel like myself after kids are:

• I make time for things that make me feel good about myself. Of course it will be different for everyone, but getting dressed up, skincare, and fitness are what do it for me.
• Going out with my husband, just the two of us. It’s refreshing.
• Making time to have fun with the kids, and getting out the house to do SOMETHING. Incorporating my friends that have kids make it even more fun.
• Squeeze in time to hang out with my girlfriends. I don’t do this often, BUT when I do, I feel like the old Sheila LOL
• Making time for my hobbies
• Enjoying the work that I do as a nurse practitioner

** My tip to any mom that wants to do more but doesn’t feel like she has the time. Try to add in one thing/routine at a time. Take a few months to fully grasp it to the point it’s more natural, and then add in the next thing. Give yourself grace and take it a little by little.

As always, thank you for reading! xo

Photography: Katelyn King

What’s one thing motherhood has taught you? Please do share! xo